Joan E. Laird

Joan Elizabeth Laird died January 17, 2025 after a short illness surrounded by many friends and family. She was known to all for her joie de vivre, her boundless generosity, intellect, humor and wit—only exceeded by the loyalty, sensitivity and great care she took in her relationships with family, friends, and neighbors. Coming of age in an era of rigid and constraining gender roles in post-war America, Joan initially settled into a conventional domestic life. That experience, along with a lifelong independent streak, fueled a strong sense of injustice. She became an avid feminist with a lifelong passion for social justice and began a career in social work. She went on to marry a woman and became a ground-breaking scholar and admired teacher to hundreds of students.
Born in 1934 in Rochester, New York to G. James Willette and Elizabeth Varcoe Willette, Joan was salutatorian of her large high school class, recipient of the Rochester Vassar Club’s annual scholarship, and graduate of Vassar College in 1956. She obtained her master’s degree from the Columbia School of Social Work in 1971. She later completed three years of post-master’s study as the first student in a joint Ph.D. program in anthropology and social work at the University of Michigan.
Married in 1957 to Clarence Laird and divorced in 1965, Joan, her toddler son Duncan, and her miniature poodle Max moved to Long Island. It was there where she met Ann Hartman, who encouraged her to begin working in child welfare, to gain experience working with families and children, and to obtain a master’s degree in social work. Ann became Joan’s friend, mentor, and life partner. She and Ann moved to Ann Arbor in 1974 where Joan joined the social work faculty at Eastern Michigan University and Ann the faculty at the University of Michigan School of Social Work. They, along with four others, co-founded Ann Arbor Center for the Family, a group clinical, research, and training facility for family therapy. It was an exciting intellectual time, along with wonderful colleagues becoming part of the emerging family therapy movement. Joan and Ann worked to bring family theory and practice ideas into the field of social work, in 1983 publishing the co-authored book Family-Centered Social Work Practice, which for many years was a leading text in schools of social work nationally and internationally. Two years later they published a co-edited volume, A Handbook of Child Welfare and went on to co-author several articles and to collaborate on many other professional endeavors.
In 1986, the couple moved to Hadley, Massachusetts, Ann becoming the dean of the Smith College School for Social Work. Joan taught for one year at the Boston University School of Social Work and later joined Smith as an Associate Professor, teaching family theory and practice and cultural studies. In her doctoral work, Joan became fascinated with theories of culture, ethnicity, gender and particularly emerging ideas of narrative, story, and ritual. In 1991, she was invited to be a plenary speaker at the American Family Therapy Academy. The topic was lesbian couples and families. That speech served as a turning point, launching Joan into a period of researching, writing, and teaching about lesbian and gay couples and families. With Robert-Jay Green she edited Lesbians and Gays in Couples and Families, the first book on this topic to be published. By the time she retired from Smith, in 1997, she had published six books, over 60 chapters and articles, and traveled the country speaking and consulting with many schools of social work.
Ann and Joan loved their visits to the Dulwich Centre in Adelaide, Australia, especially their times with Michael White and David Epston. She was honored by the Massachusetts Association of Marriage and Family Therapy and the American Family Therapy Academy with Lifetime Achievement Awards.
A dedicated lifelong learner, in post-retirement she became an active member of Five Colleges Learning in Retirement, moderating and taking many seminars and serving on the Council and a number of committees.
Joan and Ann, often with their son Duncan and one of their three generations of standard poodles, tent-camped for many years, once across the country and another time along the barrier beaches of the East Coast from New York to Florida. They spent many memorable summers at their Maine camp on beautiful Great Pond (the original Golden Pond), swimming, canoeing, sailing, and exploring the lake in their pontoon boat. Some of the couple’s favorite travels included two safaris, to Kenya, Botswana, and South Africa, four days snorkeling on the Great Barrier Reef (Joan always on the alert for sharks), guided walks in New Zealand and Basque country and, their last trip, to northern India. Joan, when younger, loved to play golf and was an avid bridge player. She had several hobbies—knitting, embroidering, macramé, needlepoint and jewelry making. Joan and Ann loved to entertain and were famous for their parties, the last one a celebration of Joan’s 90th birthday.
In later years, at Lathrop Retirement Community, Joan and Ann found a vibrant and nurturing environment, making new friends and joining in new activities. Joan initiated a book group focused on African American writers—recently adding Indigenous writers-- expanding her own understanding of the costs of our history of racism and struggling to figure out how she might make a difference.
Joan is survived by her beloved son Duncan Laird and cherished daughter-in-law Meg Laird, three fantastic and adored grandchildren, Hannah, Julian, and Corinne Laird, two brothers, David Willette and Douglas Willette, as well as several nieces and nephews and many valued friends.
The family wishes to thank the Cooley Dickinson Visiting Nurse Association, especially Nurse Andree LeBlanc, for their care and kindness during the last months of her life. In lieu of flowers, donations in Joan’s memory may be made to MoveOn, the ACLU, the Southern Poverty Law Center, or the charity of your choice. Per Joan’s wishes, all services will be private.